So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
How's work?
Spinning.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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