You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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