I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
