i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
