it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
