Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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