need another drink. this is the easiest way
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
