I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
