They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
