Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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