im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
