Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
