If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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