Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
