I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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