I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
