haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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