Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
