Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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