He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
