and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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