Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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