I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
