Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
