If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
