I wish my penis had an off switch
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
