Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
