So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
