The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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