I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
do herpes really smell.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
