I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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