We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
