ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
