he shaved USA in his pubs
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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