dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
