You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
