i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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