Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
