He is such a slut. More and more my type.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
