How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
