I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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