just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
