You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
