Got a toothbrush?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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