It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
