god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
the day after is always just damage control
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
