Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Randomize
