after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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