And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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