I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
